Music as Emotional Support

Music has always been there for me during the tough parts of my life. Over the years, I have discovered how to use music in several different ways for the music to help me.

I’m not saying that you should only use music when you’re going through a tough time. It’s just part of the whole picture. Please continue to use medication, professional counseling, journaling, reading the Bible, etc. What I’m showing you is to be used in conjunction with those things.

Disclaimer: I’m not a medical professional. I am showing my path of how music has helped me over the years.

Just Play.

I’m going to be a little more vulnerable than normal and share some things that usually makes others uncomfortable. They’re no secret, by any means, but things like these don’t really come up in casual conversation.

4th through 8th grade were a living nightmare for me. My classmates constantly berated me, punched me, threw rocks at me, and sexually harassed me. I’d rather not go through the nitty-gritty details of what I went through at the time, and I did work through those things that happened to me. I’m grateful that I had a stable home life.

Half-way through that time of my life, in 6th grade, I learned to release the emotions that were weighing down on me through music. I did this by ending my practice with a piece of music that spoke to me on whatever level I needed at the time. This piece of music was usually something that I already had learned. It was such a relief to release those emotions, and then, in turn, be comforted by the music that I was playing.

While I played, my subconscious mind would also present me with solutions for some of the smaller problems that I was having to deal with. This was also a relief. Anything to make my life easier at the time was very welcome.

My go-to music at that time was I Do It For You by Bryan Adams on the piano and Kohler’s 25 Romantic Etudes on the flute. In 8th Grade, I added Phantom of the Opera to the piano portion of my music therapy, and in High School I bought some Disney books that really helped. While the ones that I bought are no longer in print, here are some similar options for flute and piano. These are all affiliate links.

I impressed my music teachers because I was able to play with such great emotion, even though I was just a beginner. I needed that emotional outlet, and it made me a better musician. Beethoven once said, “To play a wrong note is insignificant; to play without passion is inexcusable.” I had a lot of passion to get out of my fingers.

This situation that I went through is why I make sure that every one of my students has a sad piece and an angry piece after they’ve been playing for a few years. Everyone has bad days, months, or years, especially in Jr. High. Having an emotional outlet like this is very valuable.

Performing

I was never good at any sports. I was such a klutz that my PE teachers even made fun of me. Even though I moved 18 times by the time I was 24, I was almost always in farming communities. Farming communities tend to put a lot of emphasis on sports put down those who aren’t able to do them.

Music was where I could prove to myself that I had value as a person. I may not have proved myself to those around me (because sports), but it felt good to get those ribbons and medals at the competitions. I even got to State twice in High School Solo & Ensemble, getting one gold and one bronze.

This is one reason why I make sure that I offer entry into the local and state competitions to all my students. In addition to helping them learn how to handle themselves in nerve-wracking situations and getting feedback from a judge to better their skills, they get awards and prizes to give them a boost, right when they might need it the most.

As an adult, performing on the flute energizes me for weeks (I have stage fright on the piano, so that not so much). I love to move people to tears when I volunteer to play for church. I love the give and take of the ensembles that I play in, because everyone’s tone and musical ideas meld into one.

Listening

We all listened to sad songs in high school to try to feel better. We’ve all listened to dance music to get energized. Those things really do work. I have discovered a different way of listening to music that heals me quickly.

A couple of years ago, my “friends” were giving me a rough time and I was feeling really yucky about myself. A friendly acquaintance invited me to watch him play in the symphony. Of course, I couldn’t refuse.

I can’t remember the exact music they played, but the orchestra played two pieces. The first was an atonal, modern piece. Very dissonant. The second was a beautiful, romantic era piece. Very lush.

While I listened to the first piece of music, I felt all the yucky feelings inside of me that had been brewing for months float out of my body. I felt clean, but I was afraid that the yucky stuff would come back in.

While I listened to the second piece of music, all the yucky feelings blew away and the comfort of a beautiful, lush piece of music entered my soul. I felt like a new person with a clean start.

Now that I know this information, I look up something to listen to that’s really dissonant, then something beautiful when I have a ton of negative feelings boiling inside of me. Everything just floats away and I’m able to logically go through my problem.

Conclusion

These are the three areas that music has helped me and will help me for the rest of my life. I hope they help you. Life is hard. Music relieves some of the pain.