Back when I was in school, part of what gave me stage fright was that I thought everyone in the audience was being judgmental towards me. I thought that they were going to come up to me and point out everything that I did wrong, or, worse, talk about it behind my back.
I thought they were sitting there, waiting to find something wrong with what I did. Ready to pounce.
My Epiphany
When I was about halfway through college, someone told me that the audience wants me to do well. They aren’t waiting for me to mess up, they’re happy (maybe even excited) to hear me.
It’s been a long road to change my thought process about an audience being judgmental towards me. It’s hard. Every once in awhile, I still catch myself going back into that kind of thinking.
Reminder
Fast forward to now (an undisclosed amount of time, lol). I subscribe to some blogs, a few of which are about psychology because I teach.
A few weeks ago, I saw this quote in an email: “If you feel that people are judging you, it’s really you who are judging yourself.” That quote was to talk about this article from one of the blogs that I follow.
Does that mean I’m judgmental towards myself? Probably, but how am I going to get any better if I don’t assess my playing ability?
It’s good to be able to assess your ability, but this article was a good reminder to not be so hard on myself. Maybe I need to set aside practice times when I only focus on what I did right so I learn how to not be constantly assessing myself.
This article reminded me of that conversation I had back in college. Everyone needs reminders like that. I hope it helps you.