Etiquette in a music ensemble can be somewhat of a mystery. There are a lot of unsaid rules and norms out there for how to act among other musicians. This article should help to solve some mysteries and help you make a good name for yourself among your peers.
I’ve only ever played in America – the Midwest and in the Pacific Northwest – so some of these norms might be different where you live.
General Etiquette
Let’s get some of the basics out of the way that apply to every group situation. It’s good etiquette anywhere, not just in music ensembles. You probably already know this, but someone might need this information.
- Be on time. On time in music world means 10-15 minutes early because it gives you time to warm up. It’s passive-aggressive to be late and awkward to be more than 15 minutes early.
- Never criticize, condemn, or complain. Thank you, Dale Carnegie, for writing this book and spelling it out for us all (not an affiliate link).
- Be lavish in your praise. Any time you see an improvement or you see an opportunity to give a compliment, do it. It will open doors to friendships and contacts.
- Practice Good Manners. Hold doors open, be kind, avoid taboo topics like politics and religion. If you have further questions, go read Emily Post.
- Practice Good Grooming. No one wants to smell you.
Music Etiquette
This list is more music-specific. Almost everything is unsaid, cultural norms.
- The Conductor/Leader’s word is law. It’s not up for debate. If your first chair or conductor says jump, you say how high. Be silent while the director speaks and try to keep eye contact when you can while playing.
- Do your five-minute warm-up. You arrived 10-15 minutes early (see #1 from the first list), so you have time to do your warm-up before you start running any parts.
- Greet Other Players. As other people come, or as you sit down, greet others within your vicinity. Stop your warm-up, look them in the eye, and say hi. If they want to chat, go ahead and chat for a bit. Otherwise, continue your warm-up.
- Own your mistakes. If there’s a crash and burn that’s your fault or you can’t hear whether you’re sharp or flat, apologize. It creates a good atmosphere.
- It’s better to be sharp than flat. When in doubt, go up. Other people are more likely to identify the flat person than the sharp person.
- Ignore the haters. Whenever I join a new ensemble, there’s almost always someone who instantly dislikes me. It’s instant and palpable, and it’s before I even have a chance to greet the other person. Still greet them, but otherwise ignore them and continue to be friendly with everyone else. They’ll either come around or leave. Another option that works occasionally is to ask advice, even if you already know the answer.
- NEVER practice someone else’s part. It can seem as though you’re out to get the other person.
- Put in your practice time at home. Rehearsal isn’t for practice, unless you’re running fingers or working on something before rehearsal starts.
- Clean your instrument. Taking the time to do this after rehearsal says a lot to the others about your musicianship and helps you keep your instrument in top shape. It also gives you a chance to chat with others while you put your instrument away.
Other Stuff
Here are some other things that I like to do that aren’t necessarily music ensemble etiquette, but make life easier.
- Talk to the Old-Timers. They will have cool stories and fabulous advice. Try to joke around with them to get them to open up.
- Ask Questions. Be a sponge. Others have a different background than you with different ideas that you can learn from.
- Try to Create a Relationship with the Leader(s). They’re in that position for a reason – they know more than you. See #2. Also, they might know about other gigs that are available to you.
Conclusion
When we all act with good etiquette, life goes smoother and everyone is more comfortable. When everyone in a musical ensemble is comfortable, they make better music. If you act properly among other musicians, you’re more likely to be asked to come back.
